Going Alpha With Adam Warner

Gentlemen.

Today.

Well, fuck.

I've got a re rural foyer.

I'm joined here inside of the bunker.

With the man, the myth, the fellowship, all legend that is out a morning today

where we are going to go balls deep.

On the topic of becoming an alpha male something which in my

mind adam warner what he fucking lives in breeze down to his core.

this one my friend is going to get controversial and it's going to get

interesting quick let's get to This

Fuck me, Adam.

, I said to Barley this morning at breakfast.

He was like, Dad, what you doing today?

I'm like, Bar, I'm recording podcast today.

He's like, Who with?

I'm like, with one of our fellowship members.

He's like, Which one?

Adam Warner and he's like, Adam, the one, the one that does all the CrossFit.

I'm, Yep, yep, Bud.

That's Adam, that's who I'm speaking today.

So you, my friend, are a fucking legend around the breakfast table

in our house and I'm excited for today of what it's gonna bring,

Thank you.

It's a pleasure.

mate.

So shall we kick this thing off and let's give a, a little

bit of a frame around that, the context of this situation.

Cause I think out of the men, I know you are probably one of

the most fucking open and honest people that I've ever come across,

Yeah, it's been very challenging.

I would say that dealing with clients, staff, people generally, I suppose

really from that point and just the variables that come with that, not easy.

And, uh, setting up from scratch in the middle of a recession wasn't easy either.

As time's gone on, I've, I've got divorced, um, uh, the business has grown.

Uh, there's been ahead of a lot of changes, I suppose,

probably in that period.

But yeah, I, I probably, it's more the growth of me, . Of becoming,

I dunno, probably trying to become an alpha for male, I suppose

is probably my angle, really.

And trying to be the best person I can, I suppose ultimately, and that's

where a lot of this comes from.

So, so talk, talk me through Adam, you, you mentioned that word alpha mail,

and I'm sure you are like me, you're, you're on fucking, the internet, whether

it's LinkedIn, Facebook, or, or YouTube or whatever the Tipler choice is, that

word Alpha Mail gets banded about a lot.

Like, I'm fucking Alpha and you see, you see cuts on TV talking about herself.

What does that mean to you mate?

What do you, what do you see that as?

Yeah, I'm not, I'm not talking dickhead, I'm talking, um, , I'm talking proper

people, um, people that are grounded, um, in touch with their, their, their

thoughts, their actions, um, and everything is in accordance with that.

So for me it's, it's about having all in qualities all the time.

You know, I don't want to be screaming ego.

Um, I wanna keep my ego in tracks all the time.

I wanna work hard.

Uh, I'd like people to value me as a person by my actions.

That's fucking that word grounded there.

Adam, I think is the first time I've ever heard that word associated

with, with the term alpha male.

And that couldn't be more on the fucking money.

You know, the, you go back to the stuff that you see on social media and

ev, everyone takes that word alpha, and they then, Like you say, act

like a fucking asshole or a dickhead.

It's like they, they use that as a term or a badge of honor that can be like,

now that means I can be dick to anyone that I like and I can be aggressive.

And it's like, Nah, fuck that.

It's, it's about being a good fucking responsible human being that is there to

provide and protect and, and it's sort of like he's committed to his actions.

Yeah, absolutely.

Uh, I think , we are here to provide for children, you know, trying to

hold down decent relationships with people and, um, and yeah, uh, achieve

our dreams, I suppose ultimately.

I've got a very good circle of friends around me, which

hold me accountable every day.

So it's, I'm not gonna get off including you, Charlie, so,

It's, it's, it's funny that, cuz not many people I've, well my experience, there's

not a huge amount of people out there that have that fucking inner circle at 'em.

I think especially men that are running and operating at the helm

with their own business, it could be a lonely fucking place, can't it?

Um, I th I think a lot of that's come from pain.

Uh, ultimately when you act and perform how you'd like to be as a person, I think

rather than what a lot of people do, just to try and get other people happy, you end

up attracting these people towards you.

And, you know, I, I treat people how I wanna be treated.

Show up rather than, uh, you know, be.

Be another number.

I think that's the other key.

So, um, be present and, uh, enjoy your life.

You're only here once and it's not long.

I know.

Fuck, it's, it's short, isn't it?

It's really, really short.

And you started the accountancy practice like, uh, during sort

of like the recession, which I'm guessing what, 20 12 1

yeah.

2011.

Yeah.

So, so, so talk me through What the fuck made you go actually kind of recession.

I, I know what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna set this thing off on mind and let's go out there and make that happen.

What was that, um, mindset in your mind?

Like, what

Yes, its a bit of a strange one.

This, I was working as an FD for a group of companies at the time and, um,

it was a great environment to be in.

So at that point in time, um, badness really, I jumped ship and uh, thought,

well, I'm gonna give this a go, but I didn't really respect the fact that

I'd got, um, a wife at home at the time with two children under three.

Um, and you know, literally the next day we're sitting there

going, Well, hold on a minute.

We've got no income

. Yeah.

Fuck

But I think this is a case of where you sometimes just have to follow

your heart and, um, if you believe it's gonna work, it's gonna work.

And yes, it, the first year was hard.

I didn't only own about 20 grand in the first year and it was painful.

Don't get me wrong.

And, you know,

let's have a go.

If you, if you lose out and it doesn't work out, then let's go again so,

you know, that's risk, isn't it?

It's gambling.

That's, that's

a hundred percent.

It's a big fucking gamble.

And, um, and, and it's a lot of risk, but that's where a lot of the fucking

buzz comes from as well, isn't it?

It's like standing the edge of the cliff and being like, Do I fucking jump?

Ah, bollocks.

It'll be all right.

I'm sure that, I'm sure there's no rocks underneath there.

Let's see what happens when we, uh, when we hit the water and, uh, again.

It's this fear, isn't it?

That stops people from making that move nine times outta 10.

And I think when you actually realize that fear is created in your own head

and not, um, by the rest of the world, um, it's down to you to control that.

Don't have a procrastinate and get off your ass and get moving.

I, I think, I think that's huge, isn't it?

And you say that, that don't procrastinate.

. There are no excuses.

It's like, if you either wanna do it or you don't wanna do it, don't, don't

bullshit me with the fact that your dog ate your fucking homework . And

it's like, nah, you made the choice.

You chose not to take action on it right now.

And that's the reality of the situation.

Yeah, I think once you realize you, you are the blame for everything in

your life, the reasons that things didn't go hell you wanted them to,

then everything changes, doesn't it?

, that is the key to everything.

And I think everyone's gotta go for a little bit of pain at some

point in their life to realize that and actually take that decision to

make, make the most of their life.

And that's the key for me.

Um, it's a non-negotiable now, it's just, I can't, I won't

live in that state anymore.

So, um, if I'm not smiling, happy and, you know, punching for the ceiling,

then what's the point of being there?

it's that, um, there's that Jocko, um, I'm sure you've read it, Jocko

wining Booker, like extreme ownership.

And it, that, that's, that comes down to the crux of this, doesn't it?

You are responsible for the fucking actions you take, and

you're responsible for the circumstances that you put self in.

And you talk about.

Leaving, uh, the other business to set up be road.

And you're doing that with, with a wife at home and two, two young kids under

three for, for me, with, um, with Emma.

Um, when our Barney was born and that sort of like 48 hours after he was born,

I'm like, Right, I'm driving up the fucking motorway and making dickhead

decisions to go and see clients.

Like for me, there was always that mental justification that, that that was okay

And when you step back and be like, Dude, what, what the fuck are you doing?

Like except some fucking responsibility, man up.

And let's reflect on this situation and see what's really going on here beneath

all the fucking bullshit, like, what are you doing wrong and what can you change

that's gonna make this situation better?

And I think it's hard sometimes for us, especially as men, to kind of go

that far and understand what's really fucking going on underneath all the

bravado and underneath all the bullshit.

What's your experience with that, Adam?

Or, or what sort of journey did you go through with that?

Yeah, , I didn't have a good story really from that point of view.

I was in a, in a marriage, for a long period of time, not in a great place.

I think it's probably a good work, putting things.

Um, it was painful.

I was lost in my own head.

Um, too much noise.

It was a painful period and, um, I did get divorced in the end, , you

know, I see my children every other day and every other weekend stuff.

So it's, I'm pretty much a, you know, a 50% debt really.

, you know, I do struggle at times, don't get me wrong, but I think we all do.

It's that mindset thing that is absolutely key with all of this.

It's that positivity.

It's not listening to the critical mind in your head.

You know, those words that are basically stopping you from doing

things or telling you're doing something wrong or whatever it may be.

And just plowing on forwards.

You know, I've made a lot of mistakes, a hell of a lot of mistakes

and um, I'm very aware of that.

You probably, like you're talking about now, but I think wholeheartedly, we

all know that the right things to do, it's just whether we do it or not.

There's a, there's a lot of pressure on men nowadays.

Especially with, our uncertainties in the world with regard to finances

and income and, you know, we, we were taught to provide and put food on

a plate for our kids and our wives and all this sort of things and, you

know, give the best lives we can.

But at what cost?

That's my question.

You know, I, I played the ultimate cost in the end, . And it's painful

and ex very expensive all these ago.

You know, I wouldn't change anything for the world, but , I've probably

spent a good 15 years of my life really.

Ultimately wasting it when I look back at that period and just wa didn't I

just man up and just be me and, um, stop trying to get everybody else happy.

. But yeah, you know, men, men, men to be leaders as far as I'm concerned,

and, uh, if they don't lead from the front, then uh, they don't like being

hidden behind, , if that makes sense.

Or, or being carried or being restricted or whatever else it might be.

So we've gotta let you know the best bits out of us, out into the

world and, and, uh, show people.

And that's my angle.

So,

that what, what's interesting about that, Adam, you say , making

that decision and, and taking, responsibility for that decision as well.

Like, that's, that's a big fucking hard decision.

Hard decisions to make.

What's your thought process as, as you're going through that?

Cause I imagine there's probably a lot of people listening to this that

might be in a similar sort of situation that they're weighing that shit up.

Yeah, it's a tricky one.

Um, I, I suppose ultimately come down to whether I was happy or not at that point.

I was in so much pain that it was a very simple question for me.

And, um, it was a bit, um, uh, a bit random moment and just sort

of done it, if that makes sense.

And probably in my heart, I never should have done it a long time ago.

But, um, I would say to anybody, I think, you know, if he was in that

position and that having to make that decision, um, my first thing would

say, Don't leave unless you have to.

Um, I think the first, you know, looking at that from that perspective is the fact

that we need to look at ourselves first.

Um, you know, you are 50% re responsible for your, you

know, half of the relationship.

Um, sort your own shit out.

Get everything in line, get everything sorted in your head.

Be the best person you can.

If it doesn't work, then at that point, after having done all that work, which

is gonna take you some time, ultimately there is a decision to be made.

And, you know, how do I put this?

It's what's right for you, isn't it?

You know what the answer is.

, it's, it's incredibly difficult decision.

I'm probably what, four, five years now since that happened, since I walked

out and it's not been easy, you know, especially for children and, all I can

do is try and be the best person I can for them and support them in everywhere

I can and, and show up every day.

And that's my angle.

And um, if that relationship was right, then it will work out,

won't it, from that side of thing.

So I think, you know, men nowadays, I see so many men that are just so

lost in their own heads and they're just not living their their own lives.

They're not, you know, they can do, they can be happy in a relationship.

They can do the things I wanna do.

And, you know, and effectively with good communication and understanding and, you

know, balance and fairness and kindness, you can, you can have pretty much what

you like, but there's no need to run away.

You know, it's an easy option, It's an easy way out.

The hard route is effectively to stick with it and make it work, isn't it?

And I dunno, that's sometimes I'll sit there and think, you know, perhaps that

would've, would've been a better option.

But at the time, I think when you're in a lot of pain and it's just got escalated

to a point, you know, there's decisions you make sometimes that you just have

to run with and stick with, don't you?

And that's it.

So

do you think, why, why do you think there are so many, so many lost,

lost souls out there, and what, what do you think, um, is causing that?

Oh Jesus.

Difficult one, isn't it?

Um, without getting too political, I think there's been a big shift in

the, um, weight of how perhaps, you know, me as a generation, I look back

to when I was a kid, you know, my dad went to work, he used be out the door

at High Pass four in the morning.

He'd be back at seven o'clock at night.

You know, he was exhausted when he got home.

He provided, he put money on the, you know, on the table and did know, did on

your, you know, in your belly, et cetera.

He'd done exactly the right things as a father, but the truth is at what cost,

You know, I used to see him and he was broken most days, you know, couldn't

even speak cuz he was just so tired.

And, you know, that was a normal working day for man back then, you

know, hands on, on the tools, you know, whatever it was, et cetera.

And, you know, he'd done his best for us.

And you look back and I, I was one of three and it was hard going,

and, you gotta take your hat off to the, to the hard work that they put in for you.

And, um, yeah, I think when we look back at all of that, ultimately

we've been molded and we've been put into a, into a, into a mold

effectively by our upbringings.

You know, I look at my granddads and my great grandads all done the same thing.

You know, they was all battling and just trying to exist and survive.

And I think, you know, with the rise of, you know, rise of women, if

yeah, yeah, a hundred percent.

it's the balance has shifted massively.

So, you know, women are very strong now and they, they can pretty much do and

have what they want, you know, And, uh, not, not meaning that in a negative form,

but it's, um, the man has become quite crushed I suppose, as a result of it.

Cause he's, you know, he's had his wings clipped and, um, I think

a lot of men struggle to know where to exist in this world.

Uh, I think you, you've mentioned it a couple of times than

Adam, that word accountability,

Like that's, it's a big fucking thing.

I'm like, I like being held accountable.

I like to hold other people accountable.

I think it's, I think it's extremely, extremely powerful.

Yeah, I, I think during my period of pain and regrowth, if you wanna put like

that, um, I was looking for something that I could test, um, how do I put it?

Probably test my resolve.

I wanted something that would push me every day that would

take me outta my comfort zone.

And I would feel that I was doing something I hadn't done the day before.

And I found CrossFit and.

I just loved the fact that it was so difficult.

Um, I remember walking in there the first day and absolutely getting blown to bits.

You know, I just, just absolutely just thinking, what on earth am I doing here?

But, you know, looking at these people walking around a gym that were

doing chin ups and muscle ups and,

Yeah.

oh, just, you know, and lifting huge amounts of weight and God knows it

else, and, and that gave me inspiration.

So I wanna be one of them and I wanna be able to do that.

And

It's brutal.

Absolutely brutal.

There's no time for wimping out, there's no time for moaning.

Um, you know, you can think like what you like in your head, but you won't have

two minutes to think about it for long

Yeah.

you are just gonna be in pain.

So, um, you know, the, the trainers I've got just literally will

just push you to your eph degree and, you know, I'm 46 now and.

I dunno.

I, I like the fact that I can sort of try and keep up with a

mid 20, 30 year olds, et cetera.

And, uh, you know, it's, it's great fun when you can do that and they

look at you and go, Wow, you know, it's, uh, it is a nice feeling.

And, your adrenaline's absolutely thumping out your, you know, out

your head, if that makes sense.

I think there's, there's no greater demonstration of when you think

you're at your limits, you are nowhere near your fucking limit.

And, and you can keep going.

I'm sure you've had this, I remember one time, um, fuck

training, training for hockey and

there was like this old chip and sawdust gym.

This.

Fucking ac dc like blaring from the speakers, like stone, concrete

wall that's just oozing in fucking steroids and testosterone,

just like dripping down this thing.

And I, I'm in there probably I doing, doing leg day.

Um, what I thought was a, was a reasonably tough workout and

making noises and loading bars up and all that sort of thing.

And the owner of the gym was a guy called Nas.

And Nas was a fucking beast, absolute animal of a guy.

And he comes over and he's like, Charlie, do you want me

to sort of like spot you today?

I'm like, Nala would, that would be amazing, mate.

Um, at which point I didn't realize when he said spot me, he meant he was gonna

fucking beast me for the next 45 minutes.

So I, I forget what the plates were on the side, but he starts having like plate

and we do like another five reps and he puts more plates on and another five reps.

And I am literally going, Jesus Christ.

And.

One mo you drop, push the bar up, he puts another plate on.

And I have never lifted so much weight in my entire life.

I was literally throwing up and na I was like, Keep going.

I get the fucking bin.

You can, you can be sick in the bin.

It's, it's gonna be alright.

And we finished off, I think the last set, uh, put the bar back

on the, uh, on the rack there.

And my legs just fucking gave away mate.

And up until that point I was like, I am working my legs as

hard as I can work my legs.

And I'm like, they have, they have been worked 10, 20, 30, maybe in

50 times harder than they have ever been worked in my entire life.

And that was having someone there going, just focus on the next one.

All we're gonna do is one more, one more,

one more, one more.

And before you know it, your 20, 30 reps down the line and

it's, it's interesting, that lone wolf mentality, which seems to be

taking a lot of, um, what's the word?

Getting a lot of traction in terms of like, I can do this on my own.

I can, I can, I can, I can fucking go out there and like the, the, the older

I get, the more I become acceptance of the fact that there has never been

such a dumb fuck in my entire life.

And that we, we are all better off.

Whether that's together or in a group, it's why we always fucking hunted impacts,

but with other people, by your side, other men, by your side, whether it's business,

whether it's fucking exercise, whether it's workout, we can achieve so much more.

It's phenomenal.

. Um, I'm a massive advocate of that.

Um, you know, we're men.

We like socializing.

We like being around other men.

And when you take that away from us, we're uh, we're pretty much useless.

I think it's a good way of putting things.

So there's a reason we go down the pub.

There's a reason we go to football or whatever else we do, et cetera, in groups.

Um, we need that time together.

And um, you know, as much as I love women, like, and most other

people, it's, how do I put this?

You must have that time together.

You must have it.

You know, And that's why one man empire is so great you can talk about stuff that you

just wouldn't talk about to anyone else.

purely cuz no one else gets it and it's as simple as that.

So, um, yeah, simple stuff really.

But, um, just be who you are and, uh, don't you wanna be something

that's something you're not.

You, you talk about there, Adam, about um, uh, about freedom

and that, that sort of things.

Talk through.

What, what you did over the summer, talk through that, that

journey that you went on there.

Yeah, I think for a number of years we've been trying to build a business that

isn't, lo isn't focused around a location.

But yeah, this summer, um, after meeting with you, wasn't it?

. Um, I was getting a bit, a little bit frustrated generally with life

and things not developing, perhaps where I wanted them to be and stuff.

, and you just said, said to me, What do you wanna do?

And I said, Well, I wanna go on holiday for the whole summer.

And you just looked at me and just went, Well, why don't you do it?

And I went, Well, let's do it then.

So I'd literally booked the flights, literally, I think within 24 hours, and

I was off to our beef over the whole summer and, um, you know, my happy place.

, I would work from sort of 10 in the morning until three or four

in the afternoon on my laptop.

Um, just hired an apartment out there in the end and, and worked , chatting

with a team and clients and got organiz else every day and got the work done.

Um, become very, very efficient in that small amount of hours, uh,

quite interestingly and realize

me through that.

Yeah, just, uh, I think where you're not distracted, um, you know, we've

got an office, um, with a decent team in it and there's a lot of noise

and a lot going on all the time.

And I think there's a business owner, you're always listening out and being,

you know, conscious of what's going on in the room and making sure that people

are doing what they should be doing.

And, uh, I think being ring fenced out there, I, I was given a.

A platform, I, I suppose, really just to be able to get my head

down and get on with things.

And yes, it, it needed a lot of motivation stuff, et cetera, but it was great.

And the motivation was that at three o'clock I was going down the beach,

um, spent two or three hours down there, et cetera, just chilling out

and then a few beers or whatever

but it's, a classic example really of how much we hold ourselves

back in our heads and tell us, tell ourselves we can't do stuff.

For me it was a case of just moving goal posts a little bit.

Really.

I had my children one week on a, on and off, basically over the summer holidays.

And, I said to ex-wife, I said, Look, I wanna go away three in three, four weeks

and basically can slot them all together.

And, uh, that's what we've done, basically.

So, and they liked it as well.

So it was good.

It was a great learning curve.

Um, I think it, it was a good test on the team.

It was quite interesting.

Um, and they,

talk me through how, talk me through how that went.

So, so how, how, how big's a team Adam?

It's what, four, five people.

Yeah, there's five.

There was five in the office.

I think me not being there allowed them to probably make decisions

without having fear of making them perhaps is probably a good thing.

And I think as business owners, I think we're all guilty of that,

of, you know, being a little bit control freak either that makes sense

you know, we, we had technology.

We was talking on teams every day and, you know, with easily contactable, no

problems there, but it was almost a case where didn't need that after a while.

You know, the first week was very sort of hands on.

Second week less and third week, you know, less and hardly anything at all.

So it worked well.

Um,

you think, Adam, if they, if they, if the team didn't know, or I

don't, I dunno if customers knew.

Do you, Do you think anyone, anyone noticed the fucking

difference that you're out

no, so all.

amazing, isn't it

All my clients didn't have a clue.

Um, yeah, not all.

A couple I told deliberately cuz obviously that's, that's those sort of people that

would thrive in, that's all that angle.

And uh, yeah, I literally told people when I got back and they,

you know, they, they was really you.

I was like, Yeah, this is, did you not realize?

And they've like, no.

So it just shows you really that, you know, we have got all the resources at

hands and if we don't utilize this stuff, then we can't enable our dreams come.

We, So, um, don't get me wrong, I think I was glad to get

back at the end of the month.

It was a, it was a hard month in the

can imagine.

and stuff, but yeah, it was good.

So, So in, in terms, in terms of setting that thing up there, Adam, I mean, um,

what, what do you think was the, the biggest key in, in order to be able

to make that, make that, apart from the mental fucking switch in terms of

going, this, this is possible from, from an operation standpoint, what,

uh, what gave you the ability to, uh, to, to, to make that happen, I suppose?

Yeah, I think we, we run a very well oiled machine.

, um, we've automated, uh, probably 85, 90% of our business now,

um, with effective workflows.

So it's, uh, a very easy progression, I suppose, really from that point of view.

let me just stop you there, mate.

Cause I think, um, what's, what's really, you mentioned the word there,

like automation and workflows and, and whenever I bring that stuff up, people

are like, Oh, fucking automation.

Yeah.

Trouble is, we don't, we don't operate a factory and, and

we are a service business.

We are a service driven business.

I think there's a lot of misunderstanding around that word automation.

So just, um, just, just talk through, when you say automating

workflows, just so people are clear.

Like, what, what does, what does that look like in your business, Adam?

It's, um, so people can probably relate to that a little bit

Yeah, I suppose we take it for granted now, Don't we talk like this?

But yeah, just it's, it's basically mapping out the steps and the

processes that would take you from A to B to get something delivered.

So if it's, I don't know, preparing a set account in our situation,

there would be, uh, there's a lot of steps to be honest with you.

A lot of people realize this, but there's an awful lot of work done

there and, uh, step by step, it's a case of making sure that everything

gets done in the same format and the same process and nothing gets missed.

Um, human beings are horrendous for, I dodging things or forgetting

bits or whatever else it may.

But the great thing with automation in, in some of the systems we're using is

effectively that when we trigger a next step to say, Right, okay, you know, we've

got a roadmap, I suppose, really from how we're gonna get from here to there.

And, uh, along that way we have to trigger certain things to keep off.

And it may be it generates an email or a letter or, um, you know,

another automation, um, there's a hell of a lot that can be done.

So it gives structure to people's approach.

So, um, it, it just allows me to.

The same things as if I was doing it and, um, not somebody, you

know, somebody else making their own decisions on it to a degree.

You know, we come out with derived outcome every time that's very high

quality and given us the reputation and name that we've got and, um, I love it.

It's, uh, it's allowed me to be free of worrying.

I think that's probably the ultimate thing.

So,

That, that free of worry, that that fucking confidence

piece is huge, isn't it?

Especially if we start going, we're operating in different time zones and,

and different countries to be on, um, in a well on the fucking beach and literally

in a beha at three 30 in the afternoon and have the confidence still that the team

are still getting tasked, delegated to them that they're still going through that

stuff and stuff still getting picked up.

That, that must be fucking mentally, I mean, it's, it's, it's.

It is free.

Yeah, it's, um, it's, it's ultimate freedom, isn't it, really?

At that point, I've always wanted a business that would, you know,

ultimately I, I'd be laugh about this, but I wanna pick my laptop up at nine

o'clock in the morning and see how much money I've got in a bank account

and touch base on a couple of people.

And, you know, that's me done, you know, an hour later I'm done

for the day and that's my dream.

And, um, if I can get to that place in this lifetime, then uh,

I'll be very, very happy man.

And it's these big steps that allow you to realize that you

are actually getting somewhere.

So, um, we will get there.

We will get there.

You talk, you talk about people.

They're the things that fuck the whole thing up, whether it's customers, whether

it's employees, headaches is, uh, is, is, uh, what's the word I'm looking for?

Normally born out of people in one way, shape, or form, aren't they,

It's people, and that's what we're, that's what we're dealing with,

Yeah.

Well, you are, you are fucking ruthless.

You're like, I am.

When it, when it come, when it comes to like dickhead behavior, uh, Adam,

from a, from a customer standpoint, you, I mean, you're like me.

You just won't fucking tolerate it.

And For a lot of us growing up there has been, whether it's in

management's books or whether it's, it's like the customer's always right.

The customer's always right.

And in my experience, the customer's always a fucking idiot

and doesn't know what they want or what's the right thing for 'em.

How do you sort of like make sure that you are in control of that

situation and, um, with, without being

Yeah, it's, it's, it's, you know, we need to take ownership and responsibility

for that process, and a lot of it comes down to educating, , and, um, you know,

often accountability kicks in there for me and I will be very blunt with

them and say, Look, you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing.

And they don't like it.

Sometimes other people take it very well and go, Okay, I'll raise my game.

And, you know, we crack on.

So it's, yeah, it is hard one, you know, don't get me wrong, I,

there's a very simple question in my mind when it comes to dealing with

customers and, um, if I'm not happy

Yeah.

. Yeah.

with working with them, then I don't work with them anymore.

They're, you know, they're making me stressed.

If I'm going home, worrying about it, If I'm waking up at three

o'clock in the morning worrying about that person and what they're

doing, , it ends very, very quickly.

So, um, there's life very short.

I said it earlier, but with, you know, we're only here once and I don't,

yeah,

it's people's and they on, and so

I've, I've got a, uh, an old mentor of mind and he used to live and die by

the phrase, it was like, If I wake up thinking of you three mornings in a row

and I ain't fucking you, you've, you've gotta go like, like, like you, you're

it's a three no rule, isn't it?

Yeah.

Three no's and you're out.

Absolutely.

So, um, I mean,

is it, it, it, it sounds, it sounds dead.

Like when you say it like that though, Adam, it, it makes

it sound so fucking simple.

Do you know what I mean?

It's like, I just wanna work with people that say, stick to doing

what they say they're gonna do.

Expect something fair.

And it's like, when, when did that become so fucking difficult

to, um, to accept his madness in

it?

just, just gotta set yourself to rules,

Uh, I agree.

A

hundred, a hundred percent code

of conduct.

This is, this is what the fuck we do.

Your employees need rules.

You know, you need rules.

You know, I've got codes of conduct, the way I operate, you know, when I get home

at night, et cetera, I put my phone down.

I'm not touching my damn phone.

It's been ringing all day.

I've had communications on it all day.

If I pick that up, I'm gonna get caught into the trap again and I'm gonna end

up doing work and I don't wanna do that.

So that's my time.

So, you know, we've gotta create rules and we've gotta stick to them, aren't we?

At the end of the day, if we don't do that, we're gonna end up in the same

pot that everyone else is in with overthinking and overload and overwhelmed

and God knows what else, et cetera.

And you know, I'm not going there again.

It's not happening.

So,

Talk me through.

So you, you got your rule there about, so phone goes off, uh,

since you walked through the house.

yeah, literally.

That's amazing.

That's, It makes a big difference though, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Um, it's, yeah, , you know, I'm quite happy using it for work.

It's a brilliant tool, but ultimately, you know, I'm not wasting

my life sitting on that thing.

I don't know this, uh, the whole thing about, uh, business owners are, you know,

not having, uh, a designated working time and they're working 24 hours, seven

days a week, all that sort of stuff.

You know, we're, we're, we're human beings.

We're not capable of working seven days a week, 24 hours a day.

We need sleep, we need food, we need rest.

You know, you know, I think when I was working at i b for this year, I just

thought, well, if I can work on a, a five day or five hour day and achieve what

I was achieving in eight hours when I'm packing in the office and probably earning

more money than what I was when I was working and sitting in the office as well.

You know, why would you wanna do that?

You know?

And I think you gotta hold yourself accountable to this sort of stuff.

You know?

It's, you know, it'd be interesting when I get back in a, in another long

term relationship, et cetera, about how I hold myself in that, because, you

know, I'm gonna hold the other person accountable as well in these situations.

And, you know, what's, what's the point in sitting there?

You know, I see people sitting there texting each other in the

same room, if that makes sense.

I, they, just,

but me,

seriously, I just, just to wake up and smell the flowers.

What are you doing people.

It's, we, we always joke, like with me and Emma go out.

, we went out for, um, uh, we went out for, for lunch.

It was me, Emma, and Barney, a fucking restaurant in town, same restaurant,

like to get some brunch type thing.

And there's this couple, like, just over the, over my shoulder here like this.

And m keeps looking at me.

She.

nudging as in like, have a fucking look.

So I, I, I'm like, I'm trying to see what's going on and

it's fucking hilarious.

So young couple, clearly unlike a first date, and you can tell by like a little

bit of body language and, and how they fucking sat and talking to each other.

And I kid you not Adam, they both sat there, right with the phones out, first

date, fucking looking at, look, well, glad at each other while looking at the phone.

And me and him, like you just said, a hundred percent fucking convinced, they

probably sat there texting each other or sending little social media, sat air

first date together, quick photograph, and then, uh, and then of it's like,

what the fuck's going on with this?

It was unbelievable.

It's like you've come out all this way and you're just glued to your

fucking screen, sat across from another human being that you're

meant to be enjoying some time with.

It makes no sense whatsoever.

we was in the bar the other night and uh, we having a wind up was all having

a few drinks and, uh, a friend of mine actually admitted that he sits here and

text his misses while they're in bed together so that they're sitting up.

In bed messaging each other next to each other.

I just like what I just said to, I sit, you knows for two

things and, and that's it.

Not a mobile phone, just the seriously.

Oh man.

That is brilliant.

Yeah, it's just living in the moment, isn't it?

And it's, uh, concentrate on that second that you are alive

in that exact moment in times.

And just a choice.

Do you wanna be happy or do you wanna be sad?

Um, you know, we can all get caught up in our own minds and caught up in

our own shit, but let's, let's crack on and make something like this world.

I think if it's not more people done it, been much happier place

and um, that's why I go anyway.

How, how long did it take you to fucking realize that?

When, when do you think that moment was where you're like, right, this

is, this is how I need to start living and how I need to start

operating now and, and moving forward?

Yeah, I think, look, in all honesty, I think you need a trigger.

whether it's a death of a person or a fail relationship or whatever else it may be.

Um, it needs to be extreme and it needs to hurt really badly to

the point that you say, I'm not willing to carry on like this.

. And I suppose divorce was that for me.

Um, I think it was more a case of trying to find myself at that point rather than

perhaps a divorce in, in total reflection.

But that was the painful bit.

And when you make that decision to effectively go forward and put the

work in to be the best person this human being you can be, um, because

you, you know, you deserve that.

And, um, you know, why would you not wanna do that?

And um, I think once you, once you get that mindset in the right place of, you

know, all I wanna do is be happy cuz that's ultimately what's about, you know,

I've lost an awful lot of money, assets and, you know, friends and well, what I

thought was friends and family and God knows else, we gonna get divorced and

you know, you, there's a lot of loss there that makes sense from that point,

which was all familiar and safe to you and not necessarily that you still

need it, but it's something different.

It's changed, isn't it?

And managing that at that point is difficult and.

With that undivided decision to, you know, effectively be the best you can.

It's, it is an easy one.

And, um, I, I think it comes down to that.

And once you get into this positive mindset, you don't

have negative thoughts or, um, a negative perspective on the world.

And, uh, all of that doesn't come into it anymore.

You just crack on, push forward and, uh, you know, tomorrow's another

day and every minute's another day.

And it's an opportunity in my world and it's, make the most of it wherever you're

Well, gentlemen, holy fuck.

For me.

And I think in sort of that golden shower, there were two big takeaways.

Takeaway number one, Adam's definition of the word, alpha male, especially in

an age when you have a look at social media and there's so many fucking tassels

using a bounding that word around.

And I think Adam's definition of that, which he narrowed down to

just one word was spot on that word.

Grounded.

Uh, grounded man, less in touch with his thoughts and is in touch.

With his actions

Takeaway number two, the fact that Adam had the balls.

To be like, fuck this.

I want more out of life.

In fact, wouldn't it be amazing if I could take the summer off and if I

could go and run my business from Ether while I was having the time of my life.

And I think.

For me, what's instructive about that is how many people sit

there and think, you know, what?

It would be really, really cool to be able to run and operate

my business from anywhere yet.

The factor of the matter is most people don't have the courage to

take the next step and just fucking try it and see what happens.

I think Adam was proof in the pudding that actually, if you set the business

up in the right way, you put the systems.

If you put the process and you put all that stuff in place, hold a

ship, the world becomes your oyster and I've got four weeks away.

He got to enjoy the sunshine, got to enjoy the lifestyle.

And in fact, the business runs smoother.

While he was out of the country.

If that doesn't say to all my friends.

I don't know what does anyway that's been enough for me and i will cut you